mood: new yorker columnist
music: "art bitch" -- CSS
emotional stress, sure this sounds irritably enough like what any person goes through; though when it clutches you from the the throat and wont let you go what else can you do but to bite down and let it happen. There are no clear feelings that we have in our life, they might seem oddly enticing to our own foolish desires. But as soon as one of those irregular feelings comes and bites you on the ass then what? Where do were do we really see ourself, and yes how would we be without those people that will not let us live without them being there, is our first love ever really gone? This morning I found myself looking and looking for an answer to that very question, with the smell of repetition all over me. As I would solemnly glance towards my phone, and wondered what if? Rejection, frustration, no answer, there really was no point in asking since the answer i would regrettably receive was not one that I would want. How long would I wait to make that one phone call, that last attempt that I thought I had already made, why is it that every relationship that I have had after that one has turned into shit? Even the ones that have some potential I shun them, because I keep looking into the past, I guess I just love to ruin my own life. So therein I foolishly made the mistake of picking up my phone and doing just that, I picked up I dial and awaited... not having the courage to seek an answer I had left it there ringing, ringing, just as he had done before "accidentally," no response as expected, i humoured my own woe and left it as it was. Maybe for now I will just leave it as is, there is nothing more than I will be able to do in my current state of emotions, and in reality why it is that human behaviour presents us with partners we do not appreciate nor desire until they are gone?
music: "art bitch" -- CSS
emotional stress, sure this sounds irritably enough like what any person goes through; though when it clutches you from the the throat and wont let you go what else can you do but to bite down and let it happen. There are no clear feelings that we have in our life, they might seem oddly enticing to our own foolish desires. But as soon as one of those irregular feelings comes and bites you on the ass then what? Where do were do we really see ourself, and yes how would we be without those people that will not let us live without them being there, is our first love ever really gone? This morning I found myself looking and looking for an answer to that very question, with the smell of repetition all over me. As I would solemnly glance towards my phone, and wondered what if? Rejection, frustration, no answer, there really was no point in asking since the answer i would regrettably receive was not one that I would want. How long would I wait to make that one phone call, that last attempt that I thought I had already made, why is it that every relationship that I have had after that one has turned into shit? Even the ones that have some potential I shun them, because I keep looking into the past, I guess I just love to ruin my own life. So therein I foolishly made the mistake of picking up my phone and doing just that, I picked up I dial and awaited... not having the courage to seek an answer I had left it there ringing, ringing, just as he had done before "accidentally," no response as expected, i humoured my own woe and left it as it was. Maybe for now I will just leave it as is, there is nothing more than I will be able to do in my current state of emotions, and in reality why it is that human behaviour presents us with partners we do not appreciate nor desire until they are gone?
Posts
1 comment:
Any Chance of you blogging tommorow? I've been refreshing this page for almost a year.
Post a Comment