alexander by any other name

mood: epihinated

music: "Le Disko" - Shiny Toy Guns

At last I have had the great epiphany during the conversation with Ivana yesterday. I just realized the extent of my mistakes and in some ways how to correct them, and vise-versa. Just as how I am causing harm to myself and others through this unneeded journey that I am taking. I need to stop pushing myself towards a path that is not meant for me, and the person that I am pushing along with me. I am not mature enough to invest that much time into something that will end up going nowhere, I need to put that energy into something more useful, and with that just have fun with my life as well experience what life has to offer me. Plus I have seen the extent of the immaturity of how people can be and in all aspects of my life that is the last thing that I need.

One thing that I need to work on is the virtue of patience that lingers within me that has yet to come out, that one virtue has stopped me from actually seeing the clarity in life as well as the clarity in people.

I need to stop my self loathing, and let things go and be happy.

My tunnel has finally been given some light.